Hey, glad you’re here! This is just going to be a short summary of recent thoughts that have been ‘haunting’ me.
Background story
I grew up in an environment where most of the big decisions were made for me or forced onto me. Just as an example: when I was 10, my parents decided to sign me up for a school in Austria, and that was that. In retrospect, sure, it was a good decision, and it gave me opportunities I would never have had otherwise. But the point is, the decision was made, and all I could do was make it work. Due to this specific decision, I became familiar with the feeling of not belonging, from a very young age — I couldn’t understand the other kids at school because I didn’t know the language and I couldn’t talk to them either because I was missing the words. Then, of course, when I was 14, I decided to go to a technical college focused on informatics, taught in English. (FYI, my English was really bad at that time.) Again, I ended up feeling like I didn’t belong—partially because of my gender (we were just two girls in a class of 32), partially because most of my classmates already had programming experience, and partially because of the language barrier. Honestly, it’s impressive to me that I made it through those five years, traveling 4-5 hours every day. That’s commitment, wouldn’t you say?
A few things I learned along the way
Anyway, based on these experiences, I’ve accumulated a lot of fears and when I started my career, uncertainty “joined the chat” as well. I didn’t know what I wanted to do or what my values were. I felt like I had no opinions and was alone with all these problems. However, here are a few things I’ve learned over the past five years:
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The struggles I faced make it easier for me to be empathetic toward others and support them.
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These struggles have actually shaped my values a lot too.
- I’m certain that I want to help underrepresented people feel more welcome in the tech community.
- And I know I want to contribute to a better, more positive world.
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A very calming thought that I have to remind myself of as well: You don’t have to have it all figured out now. Try out new things. If you’re unsure, give yourself a timeline and review your experiences.
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The more you know, the less you know. This can be frustrating, but at the same time, it helps you understand that no one knows it all—even if they pretend to.
I’m sharing this because I know everyone has their own story and their own struggles. I wish more people would open up about them and be vulnerable because vulnerability it human and completely normal. But on social media and sometimes even face-to-face, many people are scared and put on masks that don’t benefit anyone. So If even one person reads this and feels calmer or more understood, it’s a success.
With that, I wish you a great rest of the week. Until next time!