Chapter 1: Don‘t Try
- Accept the way you are. Positive affirmations show people what they are lacking and are therefore not as good for the mental health as thought.
- The goal in life is about giving less f*ck about more.
- ”#1: Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.”
- With different Mark refers to being different than the today’s standard. Accepting pain instead of wanting to change it.
- ”#2: To not give a fuck about adversity, you must first give a fuck about something more important than adversity."
- "#3: Whether you realize it or not, you are always choosing what to give a fuck about.”
Chapter 2: Happiness Is a Problem
- The gaol is not to avoid problems but to solve them. There is never an end, fixing one problem creates another one, this Mark describes as the purpose and the beauty of life.
- ”Emotions are a part of the equation of our life but they are not the entire equation."
- "What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?”
Chapter 3: You Are Not Special
- ”The internet has not just open-sourced information; it has also open-sources insecurity, self-doubt, and shame.”
- Note: I cannot agree more: Internet is a great invention in so many ways; it connects, educates, but it also creates an alternate reality made up from the highs and not as much the downs. And so in the end no matter what you do, it is never good enough.
Chapter 4: The Value of Suffering
- Our values shape how we view our problems or what our problems become
- It is of big importance to recognise your values and how you measure them
- Mark mentions that a lot of focus in the self-help books are just scratching the surface by trying to solve the issues as soon as possible rather than digging into why the issue even arises. He also mentions that there are multiple layers to a problem, but the base are the values one has.
- ”Good values are reality-base, socially constructive and immediate and controllable.” (e.g.: honesty)
- “Bad values are superstitious, socially destructive and not immediate or controllable.” (e.g.: fame)
Chapter 5: You Are Always Choosing
- The situation you are in might not be your fault, but it is always your responsibility to act on it.
- Not doing anything is also a kind of action
”We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond.”
Chapter 8: The Importance of Saying No
- commitments provides freedom